When Will Why

I woke up this morning

To your voice inside my head,

Sadly enough inside I thought,

That maybe I was dead.

 

I had heard that night,

That you met someone new,

A feeling in my gut told me,

That with me you were through.

 

I was already sick,

But this made me feel worse,

Worse than that one time,

My heart was broken by a curse.

 

I stayed home today,

In hope you would stop by,

But never did I hear,

Your sweet voice say good bye,

 

A tear rolled down my cheek,

This was worse than before, I knew,

That this feeling I felt now,

Would cut my heart in two.

 

I was nothing to you now,

Why didn’t I see this before?

Couldn’t I see when I saw your face,

The pain I had in store?

 

I wish I knew why,

You chose her over me.

I wish I knew why.

This was something I failed to see.

 

I feel something grab my leg,

Its pressure held me down.

Something else grabbed my neck,

And I felt like I was to drown.

 

I gasped for breath,

Nothing came through.

I grabbed my neck,

And thought of you.

 

I wished with all my heart,

That you were at my side,

In case if I, god forbid,

Suddenly fell limp and died.

 

The grip on my neck tightened,

As I began to slip away.

I felt a hand grab my chest,

And I knew they were here to stay.

 

It felt as if my heart was ripped out,

In my ear I heard a deep sigh.

I fell in an emotionless state,

And, again, began to cry.

 

What they’ve done to me,

I can’t explain.

But what I can say,

Has put me in vain.

 

Every time I come close,

To someone just like you,

They destroy my life,

And our relationship, too.

 

I wish I could tell you,

How this makes me feel,

But I cannot now that I know,

It’s my life they would steal.

 

This had gone on for a while,

And I wish this couldn’t be true.

However I found that they go away,

Whenever I give up on you.

 

A voice slips in my head,

Your voice I do not hear.

Instead I hear something frightening,

Which made you disappear.

 

Inside I felt cold as he talked to me,

Telling of deception and lies.

He showed me your face and I knew,

That you or I would die.

 

If I told you what happened,

You would run away, for sure.

I can’t tell you as for I,

Have no link to this cure.

 

 

I wish I was still there,

Two hours from where you are.

I wish I had the courage,

To accept the fact from afar.

 

 

I wish I could see your face.

I wish I could hear your voice.

I wish I could be with you.

I wish that I had a choice.

 

If only you knew how much I cared,

Then maybe you would see,

That this love I seem to have for you,

Is more than it ever could be.

 

My tears still flow as I sit and write.

Why can’t a move on from you?

Why is it that I seem to be,

Torn to pieces in two?

 

I feel a sharp pain in my lower leg,

My body sears from head to toe.

Oh how I could wish my love for you,

Wasn’t acting as my foe.

 

 

My dark thoughts began sink in,

And it made the demons go away.

I have a feeling that these thoughts,

Might too, be here to stay.

 

What would you do if I called,

To tell you I was to die?

Would you come for me and say,

That you’ll never say good bye?

 

Would you come to my side,

When I fell gravely ill?

And when I suddenly died in your arms,

Would you kiss me to heaven at will?

 

I wish I wasn’t who I am;

Someone you can’t accept

Instead, I wish I was her;

Someone you’ll never forget

 

I hate how we are apart

Hundreds of miles away

Oh, how I wish I had a choice

To go back there and stay

 

Sitting on our steep, grassy hill

We watched the blue sky turn to gold

And you would embrace me when I shivered

Whenever it seemed to get cold

 

 

 

Thinking of these times

Always makes me cry

Sitting on a hill by myself

As time quickly flies by

 

I seem to be out of words

As I sit here and think of you

Wishing that my now rested fate

Would never ever come true

 

I always thought that you were the one

I know, it seems silly for me

But honestly I thought that suddenly

We might’ve had a chance to be

 

 

Once again the grip tightens

But then it finally let lose

I guess it just then decided

That it couldn’t put my pain to use

 

My Requiem of a Dream now call to me

I descend into a dark sleep

You no longer in my thoughts now

And maybe I’ll forget to weep

 

Will you ever understand

How you are killing me?

Will you ever understand

Why this has to be?

 

Why can’t you seem to know

The pain you set me to?

Why can’t you seem to know

That I have to be through with you?

 

Won’t you ever see through

My past, my pain and all?

Won’t you ever see through

Those girls who let you fall?

 

Can’t you ever wait for me

Like you promised that you would?

Can’t you ever wait for me

Like no one ever should?

 

When will you ever see

The woman I truly am?

When will you ever see

That I love you goddamn?!