Learning To Love This Again

I look back and wonder

Where had I gone wrong

Why had my training and technique

Suddenly begun to plunder

I knew I wasn't very strong

I thought I was on a winning streak

To getting to my goal

A professional dancer

And I wanted this bad

I thought I was on a role

All I needed were answers

I wanted to be glad

But instead I was torn apart

Ripped to shreds my my peers

I was shattered

This art

Of perfection as a career

Had my heart scattered

Did I really want this?

I'm not good enough

Or am I?

I've felt betrayal's kiss

The rebuff

In my class's eye

An outsider

Everybody's enemy

I was that girl

Stuck between a divider

The epidemy

Of this toxic whirl

I'd had it

This nonsense was killing me

I wanted to get out

This toxcicity had me split

I wanted to be happy and free

And have no doubt

That I wouldn't quit

I left with pride

And I never wanted to return

The weight was off my shoulders

I came back with a weak stride

My last chance to learn

I was in the hands of my beholder

I was weak

This was my last shot

And I wanted it so much

I took every critique

I gave it everything I got

And soon I was off this crutch

I excelled more than I knew was possible

I came home ecstatic

I learned to love once more

My posture was no longer abominable

No more erratic dramatics

And my light was restored