Mental Health During a Pandemic

Hey guys.

We’re gonna take a step away from my usual posts about motherhood to discuss mental health. It’s something I’ve really had to put on my forefront, and I think it’s important to talk about it every once in a while.

For those of you who are new here, hello, hi, I’m Izzy and I have Major Depression and Anxiety. I wrote a separate post about struggling with my mental health that you can catch up on here.

So, it is now August and I’m sure we all thought we’d have this whole pandemic thing down, right? Oh my god were we wrong. Here in Washington State, we’ve been shut down with a “Stay Home, Stay Safe” order that Governor Inslee instated waay back at the end of March. It feels like we have jumped from March all the way to August and skipped all the months in between.

Not going to lie, things have been really hard. My family owns a dance retail store, and dance is considered recreational, and nobody’s been dancing since the shut down. Which also means nobody is using their shoes or tights or leotards or anything. My job stopped as soon as our “Stay Home” order went into place. Come four months later and things are very slowly starting back up, but it will never replace the loss in revenue. We missed one of our busiest times of the year, and I know for the dancers (especially the Seniors) who worked so hard for recital are heartbroken that it didn’t happen this year. The arts community in general is hurting bad.

I have gone back and forth on starting my medication again for about a month now. I stopped taking it back in February before everything shut down, and I was confident that I would be fine. This last month, I have not been fine. I have barely slept, and not because of my son. I’ve lost my appetite again, and it takes a lot to get me going in the morning. Twenty-eight years of being in my own head, I know my ques for when I need to ask for help, and these were only a few of them. I don’t want to say I feel defeated for having to get back on my meds again, but in some way I do feel defeated. Like, one day I’ll be able to say “HA! Take THAT depression! I don’t need pills to fix you!” That day is surely not coming any time soon…

Having a “Stay Home” order and seeing the same set of 6 people every day does take a toll on you. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family, but sometimes a break is nice. There are a lot of things I miss, like going to the movies or hanging out with my friends or not having to wear a mask wherever I go. I miss my mom-dates with my local mom friends, or getting to plan Ben’s first birthday party without having to worry if anyone has been exposed or not. I do a lot of worrying these days instead of enjoying.

So, assisting my mental health with medication works best for me. I have a doctor now who fully understands me and my mental needs, and with my current dosage, I don’t have to worry about going off the deep end like I have before. Though, my circumstances this round are SO much better. Don’t be afraid of asking for help. I was afraid for so long, and tried to fix it holistically and on my own. Needless to say, that did not work for me. Depression is a literal chemical imbalance in your brain, and the fact they have medicine to balance that out is incredible.

I’m starting to take more time for me since I noticed my mental health dipping again. My quiet time is so valuable to me, so when I get a chance to actually enjoy that time I seize it. Whether it’s when Ben is napping or gone to bed, or skipping Wednesday cribbage night with friends or family. I need that me time. Over the years I’ve found that keeping a clean bedroom keeps my anxiety down which helps. Anything that I can find to keep my anxiety down and maintaining things a daily minimum helps. That in turn helps me enjoy the little things, and the big things. Like planning my son’s first birthday party!

I wish I had some life-changing advice on how to keep up on your mental health during this crazy pandemic we are all working to live through. But I don’t, and I’m not sure if anyone out there does. We’ll figure it out though! One day at a time.

How are you all doing? Mentally, physically, emotionally? This pandemic has taken a toll on everyone, and I really hope you all are safe and healthy.

This is all for now.

Tootles,

~ Izzy