Advice for First Time Moms

Heyyyyy everyone!

I’ve been wanting to write this post for so long now, since Benjamin was at least 2 months old. He was my first child, and I tried to soak up as much information as I could when it came to caring for him. I took in all the advice I could handle, trying to prepare for him. If you need a good laugh, please watch this video by Jess Hover - I have never laughed more in my life, but really felt not so bad about mom advice, wanted and unwanted ;D

I feel like I would have been less crazy the first month of Benjamin’s life if I knew some of these things I’m about to share with you. Again, this is only my opinion. I’m not trying to tell you how to raise your kids or make you feel like a bad parent if you did (or didn’t do) any of these things I’m going to talk about today. Every child is different and only you know whats best for your little babe! This is just what would have helped me :)

Be Prepared for Vaccination Mail

I am pro-vaccines. They worked for me, they’ve kept me safe, and I do not have any medical diseases caused by a vaccine. This wasn’t even a subject my husband and I needed to discuss. I was not prepared however, for the MASS of mail I was going to get in terms of vaccines. Think of your spam folder in your email, but in real life. Every time we would go get the mail, we were bombarded with informational packets and flyers about vaccines. Don’t get me wrong, I felt okay knowing that the intent of these mailings were to keep my child safe and healthy. But maybe there could be an “opt out” of some of these when you vaccinate your child? I think I got the same pamphlets for one singular vaccine 6 or 7 times…

Don’t Feel Obligated to Track Anything!

I went all out with Benjamin when it came to taking care of him postpartum. This included tracking every diaper change, every feeding, every nap. Literally, everything. After about a week or so of this, I started to feel anxious and kind of crazy. I would worry if he didn’t feed exactly when he was supposed to, or if he didn’t have a wet diaper by a certain time. Every single baby is different, and definitely not by textbook definitions! As soon as I stopped tracking his every fart, feeding and nap, I felt like I could take care of him so much better.

The Balance of Mom Groups

Throughout my entire pregnancy, I was involved in a mom group on Glow. I loved the app pre-pregnancy, pregnancy, and figured postpartum would be a breeze in the group. However, after Ben was born I had a hard time with mom shaming and comparing my son to other babies. The pressure I felt to mother Ben to match other’s babies leaps and progressions drove me mad. And once mom shaming started with a few of the other members it was time to get out. I know that not everyone has this experience, and a decent part of it had to do with my own mental perception of my own parenting. But if a group starts to get toxic, or you feel like it’s becoming detrimental to your mental health, leave the group. Both the tracking of Ben’s everything and the mom group were located in the same app, so I ended up deleting the app all together. Remove the unnecessary stresses!

Zip-Up Footies and Pajamas!!!

I had thought that when Ben was born I would want to dress him up in cute little outfits with pants and shirts and little baby shoes. Boy was I wrong! I wanted him in clothing that was the easiest access for diaper changes and easiest to take off when there was a blowout. Zip-up footies and pajamas are the way to go my friends! Most of them nowadays are made with sleeves that fold over to keep their tiny hands from scratching their face. And they come in all kinds of cute prints and an array solid colors. I think in the first 4 months of Ben’s life, he only wore these footed onesies and pajamas. He didn’t crawl until 8 months and walked after his first birthday. No fussing to get a bodysuit over their heads or slide down their whole body. Just unzip and done. So easy!

It’s OK to sleep when the baby sleeps (and not sleep too!)

This was something I had heard mixed advice about. Sleep when your baby sleeps. Don’t sleep when your baby sleeps. Yes, do it! NO don’t do it! Um…...what??? I did both. There were days (especially in the first few weeks) where Ben would fall asleep immediately after nursing, and I would follow suit. My recovery was rough, and I attribute my resting to helping me heal better than expected. Other days I would have a little bit more energy and be able to let him sleep in his bassinet while I got some laundry done. YOU do YOU. Both options are fine! You can leave the laundry one more day, the dishes one more day, and get to it when you have energy next. I applaud you if you had the energy to get up and get stuff done immediately after coming home with a newborn. You have superpowers.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

This one was hard for me. I was so determined to do everything perfect and be able to do so much more than I was actually able to do. I remember one specific day where I hadn’t slept at all throughout the night and Ben’s cries would make me instantly cry. On top of that, we were in the deep of breastfeeding struggles and mentally I was done. My husband took Ben in the car where he knew he would sleep (Ben LOVES car rides) and I could have the entire house to myself to sleep. I was so scared when he left without him, but I slept the entire two hours he was gone. I started asking family members to watch Ben when I was at my wit’s end. I asked for company, whether it was to just hangout, or if it was to help tidy up my kitchen when I physically could not. It’s okay to ask for help! I was so scared to text friends and family for help it made my anxiety worse.

I also was having pretty bad symptoms of postpartum depression. It was a conversation Jacob and I had prior to Ben’s birth, and I knew it was coming. I tried so hard to not have to be medicated for my PPD, but I needed the extra help. I remember bawling my eyes out at my OB’s office, thinking I was a terrible mom for having to go back on medication and ask for help. Which is so not true. My meds help mellow me out so I could take care of Ben without having a breakdown every single day.

I hope this advice has helped any of you moms out there! Motherhood is a crazy journey and is SO different for everyone. Is there any advice you have for new mamas? Leave them down in the comments below! We are all in this together, trying to raise tiny humans to be decent people.

This is all for now!

Tootles,

~ Izzy